How To Set Up Your First Dates

How To Set Up Your First DatesHow To Set Up Your First Dates

When it comes to first dates you’re probably imagining romantic dinners, exotic theaters, expensive concerts, and fancy events. Luckily for you, you don’t have to spend a boatload of money to impress somebody you may not even know. 

If this were the case, and you had a long list of dates scheduled each month (which you should), you’d be wasting tons of money on women before you knew that you liked them. Definitely not practical.

Without further ado, let’s jump into properly setting up your first dates so that success is imminent.

The Goal

(Assuming you like the girl) The goal of your first dates should ALWAYS be to have sex.


Women are taught to only have sex with men that they love. They are socially conditioned to do this because of the investment implications sex has towards women and the population. When you have sex with her on the first date, she will backwards rationalize that something about you was special and Boom. She falls in love.

How Did You Meet?

You’re going to set up your first date differently depending on if you met through cold approach, warm approach, or online game. Here are the basics of each:

Cold Approach: Generally speaking, you can be more direct with women you cold approach. Assuming you gave her the impression that you are attracted to her (you were supposed to) and she reciprocated your energy, going on a date is the next obvious step. She expects it.

Warm Approach: Feel out the waters on this one, your level of directness should correlate with your interaction entirely.

Online: This is the interesting one. The trick here is to move quickly. Online to number to Skype date to phone call to first date, generally all within three days.

In the end, it doesn’t matter HOW you get them on the first date. Just get them there so that the magic can take place.

Location Is (Almost) Everything

Coffee shops, coffee shops, and coffee shops. You can have your first date anywhere really, but I strongly recommend taking her to a coffee shop near other entertainment forms. This way your date is not confined to one location, leaving the option of spontaneity wide open. These surrounding “bounce points” allow you to spend more time getting to know each other. I used to take women to a coffee shop right next to a park. I chose this location because this particular park was close to a shopping center. Me and my dates could kill time at this shopping center before making a five minute walk to the movie theater near my house. By the time the movie was finished we had built enough rapport to make the ten minute walk from the movie theater to my home. Every step was connected, bringing us closer together, and closer to our ultimate bonding (sex) location.

Why bounce her to different locations? It helps you two get comfortable FAST. The reasoning behind this is that everything around you is changing. You become each other’s only constants. This creates a feeling of unity and immediate trust.

Why coffee shops? Caffeine. This will pump her into a social mood and help your interaction go fantastically, thus increasing the likelihood she’ll leave the coffee shop with you towards your first location change.

This concept works well with bars also.

Your First Date Starts On The Phone

That’s right. Long before you and your lady are face to face, your first date has already begun. Channel her anticipation, anxiety, and excitement by giving her a few simple tasks.

For example: Text her beforehand. Playfully tell her how to dress. This will take her mind off of the pressure. Something along the lines of  “Dress sexy so that we match :P” is perfect. 

Ten Tips For The Actual Date

1. Twenty minutes before your date, tell her that you’re running late and would like to push things back ten minutes. This gives her a chance to:

A. Remember your date (She now has thirty minutes to get ready).

B. Cancel. If she’s not going to show up, it’s better she cancels as opposed to you waiting at your local coffee shop for fifteen minutes as the “I’m being stood up” anger boils over.

C. Confirm that she is fully committed meeting you for your first date.

2. If you met your date online, tell her to bring a token (flowers work great). Have her place it on her table so that you can easily find her.

Here’s why: Many women online edit their photos. I’m talking from experience here: I have been on hundreds of dates with women I’ve met online. I have never gone on a date with one that looked exactly like her pictures. In fact, some look shockingly different: On the off-chance that Angelic Angela actually looks more like Hideous Heather you can walk in, see her token on the table, and bounce out unnoticed (after silently gasping). A polite apology-cancellation text should suffice as you spend your evening not in hell.

3. Sometimes your date won’t have a car or by fluke chance her car will be at the shop getting fixed. If you have to pick her up, be funny about it. I used to roll up to my dates in my wrecked 1992 Toyota Camry with a stuffed teddy bear buckled into my passenger seat. I’d then make my date sit in the back seat- The ridiculousness of the situation completely broke any and all ice every single time.

4. Show up early, purchase your drink (if you want one), and get set up at a table. This eliminates the possibility of you paying for her drink. She’ll walk in, see you already set up, order her drink, and the date shall commence.

5. Have an immediate story ready. Breaking into a spontaneous tale right away will smooth over and maybe even completely eliminate any awkwardness or anxiety.

6. Look great, but don’t over-do it. To her eye, you should be wearing what you usually wear. That being said, don’t be a slob: make sure you’re dressed well and looking fresh.

7. Prep your home. Before you go you need to prep your house for your return. I recommend you have music cued, refreshments and food ready, and maybe a movie picked out.

8. Lead throughout the date. She doesn’t kiss you, you kiss her. You don’t ask if she wants to go to the park after coffee, you say: “Let’s get out of here!”

“Out of here?” she inquires

“Yeah, beautiful park! Come!”

YOU’RE the man. She’s on a date with YOU at YOUR chosen location. Take the interactions leading role and make it happen.

9. Kino Escalate. Kino means touch. Escalation is the increase in intensity or seriousness of something. Physically touch her. Throughout the day gradually increase the frequency and sexual nature of your touching. This will get her comfortable with you, and will keep things “man to woman” as opposed to “friend to friend”.

10. Whatever happens, don’t wait until the end of the night to kiss her. Inevitably, sometimes you won’t be able to have sex with the girl. Do not wait until the end of the night, when you are both standing on her doorstep, to go in for the most cliche kiss in the world. The tension and awkwardness are unbearable. Kiss her early in the date.

First Dates

So there you have it. If you, at any point in your date push things too far, too fast and make the girl uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to apologize. A simple, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable in any way” followed by a change of subject should do the trick.

In case any of you are reading this for the lucky lady you’re courting- Good luck on your special night out ;)